One of my Loves

I have three true loves in my life. I'm sure that if my wife were to read that, and not progress any further, she would be quite upset with me! I'd end up sleeping in the garage. Seriously, though, I have three true loves in my life, although if I were to be much more specific and accurate, I suppose that the number would have to increase to five true loves. In order they are:
1) My King
2) My Wife
2a) My oldest Son
2b) My youngest Son
3) Writing

I love to write. I fancy myself as some sort of spectacularly underrated author, striving in the shadows for recognition. In reality, I bet the truth is closer to somebody who thinks much too highly of himself and his skill-set. My "idol," the author that I wish I would be able to study under, is C.S. Lewis. If I had 1/100th of his talent, I'd be a happy, happy man. Not only his writing talent, though, but his grasp of the deeper things in life, and his walk with God. I can't imagine how many hours, or days, that he spent in deep communion with the King.

For example, in one of my favorite books written by him, Perelandra, the protagonist is charged with saving a "new creation" from repeating the mistakes of Adam and Eve. Some of the dialogue that goes back and forth between the antagonist, the protagonist, and the "Eve" character is so convincing, that I wonder how he had managed to listen in on the original conversations between Eve and the Serpent. Of course, I'm not advocating that God told him anything, but I am saying that Lewis had a grasp on both the King, and the enemy, that I envy. In the end, of course, the protagonist has to abandon trying to fight the enemy with logic, and simply destroy him through brute strength. I won't ruin it for you, but of all the hundreds and hundreds of books that I've read over the years, the three books of the Space Trilogy (of which Perelandra is part) hold the top three positions of my "favorite books of all time" list.

As for my own writing, I must say that my skills, my interests, and the actual outcome of my writing has evolved over the years. As a young "tween" and then as a teen, I filled notebook after notebook with plenty of scribblings, late into the night when I should have been asleep. The subject material was wide-ranging, everything from "fan fiction," to combining certain "universes" and writing about how conflicts in those combined 'verses would work out, to some pretty original stuff. Then I joined the Marine Corps and not much writing happened, until a few months before I met my wife. We were out on a CAX (Combined Arms Exercise), out in 29 Palms California (one of the loveliest places on Earth), and I was on watch one night. It was very late at night, it was absolutely gorgeous (the weather, combined with the cloudless sky and the full moon), and I couldn't help but write. It was then that I started laying down the foundation for my first true Science Fiction work. Now, nearly 8 years later, I'm still working out the kinks. There's just certain things that bother me about the story. The plot is solid, as are the characters. In fact, if you were to ask me what I didn't like about it, I would be hard-pressed to find an answer for you. So, for now, it's on the back-burner, simmering in the corners of my mind as I try and figure out exactly where to go with it.

The other novels that I've been working on are Fantasy in genre. So far, they've been met with "critical" acclaim, meaning that my wife and friends love it. But they're supposed to, right? Seriously, though, the first novel in the series has actually made it past the first few hurdles of publishing! I'm quite surprised that it has made it that far. Right now, the acquisition editors are pitching it to Barnes and Noble, and other booksellsers. It's turned into a waiting game for me thus far, and I'm not sure how much more I can wait!

In reality, I guess I'm just trying to do that which I was created for. I've never been talented at anything else; singing, dancing, playing music, drawing, they were all busts for me. In the book of Matthew, chapter 25 verses 14-30, is the parable of the Talents. Now, I know that the actual "talent" that is spoken about in the passage is the term for a monetary wage, back in Jesus' day. However, I take the word quite literally, too. In the parable, there is a wise Man, a King, who goes on a trip to a far away land to receive a kingdom given in tribute. While He is gone, He gives a measure of money to each of three servants, and tells them to do something with it. As with all trips, this one has to end sometime, and eventually the King returns and asks the three servants what they did with the moolah that He left them. Servants One and Two were able to double the money that the King had given them. But Servant Three said these words: "Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed. And I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours." Servant Three was paralyzed by his fear of his Master! I had to come to the realization that I could not be paralyzed by fear, or rejection. I had to take the talent that my King has given me, that of writing, and apply it.

Even if, in the long run, I am never published by a "real" publishing company, I hope that my writing skills will be able to be put to use to help further the kingdom of Heaven. I wonder though: how many other Talents do I have that I'm not using?